A midwife in the room...

I caught a glimpse of it tonight.. being "the midwife in the room". This experience changed me just as I knew it would- I just didn't know how it would.

Allow me to tell you some of the story...

After a long couple of days, I was so very happy to be crawling into bed tonight at around 9:45pm. I thought, "Our induction won't go until tomorrow... I can sleep until I wake up." Then, at 11:30, my preceptor, who was down the hall from me :-), called and said something to the effect of, "Homebirth... heart rate 220's... bringing her in... do you want to go?" Because I was so very much in dreamland, I blew off what she was telling me as being 'no big deal', and drifted back off to sleep. In a matter of seconds, I woke back up and wondered if the conversation I had just had even actually occurred. I had to check my phone to be sure. Suddenly, I felt completely compelled to get out of bed and go to the hospital with my preceptor, who was, at that moment, pulling out of the driveway. So, I threw on my scrubs and headed that way as well.

After arriving at the hospital, we waited for the patient to arrive, and, not very long story short, we experienced a very beautiful birth from a "different perspective" ;-) (Denise, that one's for you.).

And a very different persepctive it was.

I'm still not comfortable enough in myself to get right up in a woman's face and say comforting things to her in a comforting voice... that is a talent I am still developing. So, I was not her primary care giver, but I was very much involved in what was going on.

It is now that I realize that we, as midwives, are all connected on the same plane... the great cosmos... whatever you want to call it. I've never said the word "cosmos". There we were... the Certified Professional Midwife that transferred the patient to the hospital from the homebirth, the Certified Nurse-Midwife, otherwise known as my preceptor, and me, the lowly nurse-midwifery student. We were one... supporting this woman's labor all in varying degrees, all in different positions (literally), but we were one. I felt so comfortable knowing that the other two midwives were there with me, and suddenly I felt like "a midwife in the room". I wasn't "the" midwife... I was "a" midwife.

I am a midwife.

It was with this realization that I was again reminded what a humble role the midwife plays in a labor and delivery. Yes, we know a lot about what is normal, what is not normal, and how to treat each differential. But, in the grand scheme, we really are glorified cheerleaders. We are simply "in the room". Tonight, I attended my 20th birth.

I was a midwife in the room.

Lord, from the pride and into simply being a midwife, deliver me.