O Come, O Come, Emmanuel....

As I stood beside my best friend in church tonight before work and sang that beautiful hymn,

"O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel
that mourns in lonely exile here...
until the Son of God appear.... REJOICE! REJOICE!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel."

I was struck by the likeness of the lyrics to my present life situation.... "captive".... "mourns".... "lonely"....
but then, "REJOICE!"

Christ is coming back... not just at the end of mortal time, or the rapture, or whatever you believe will happen. Christ is coming back into my life right now, and at every moment, and making me stronger, more brave, more like HIM. And, for that, I am called to REJOICE.

"O Come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
and death's dark shadow put to flight.
REJOICE! REJOICE! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel."

Although it is at times extremely difficult, I am convicted that by me handing this situation over to the Lord, He is going to disperse the hate, jealousy, anger, envy, and every other negative emotion and put them to flight out of my life. Because I know He will do this, in some way, I will REJOICE!

Lord, from this terrifying situation, deliver me. I WILL REJOICE in You.

LIFE and a case of the "I wants"

I just want to have a life again. Is that too much to ask? I am SO tired... physically, emotionally, and spiritually crappy. I'm not who I once was and I will never be that person again. I just want to know who I WILL be... when I am done with all of this. I am constantly burdened by school, work, a messy house, etc. When will it end? My life is a vicious cycle of running from someplace to get someplace else. I wish I could just be happy where I am, but I'm full of "I wants"...

- I want to graduate.
- I want my house to be clean and spotless.
- I want a REAL HOUSE instead of this trailer I try everyday to make myself like.
- I want a baby when it's time, but I want it to be time now.
- I want to be in shape, but can't find time or motivation to exercise.
- I want to be a nice person, but can never seem to please anyone.
- I want to go to med school, but how in the world am I going to do that, and will it make me more miserable?

Oh, I could go farther with my list, but it's depressing me.

Jesus, come quickly, and get me out of here. This world is not my home.

Lord, from this self-diagnosis, deliver me.